


It's a Weakness

by appleblossom2



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 17:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2200647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appleblossom2/pseuds/appleblossom2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a look into what Ward is thinking when Skye's been shot by Ian Quinn.  </p>
<p>This story contains spoilers for the episodes entitled T.R.A.C.K.S. and T.A.H.I.T.I.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I like the idea of exploring what is going on in a character's head during certain episodes. Ward is especially interesting because while he betrayed our favorite agents I still hope he is redeemable.

Being a double agent can sometimes be overwhelming but I've managed to keep my secrets well. Being assigned to Agent Phil Coulson's team though tests my loyalty on a daily basis. While I don't directly need to give my true supervising officer and friend John Garrett data on our missions, I do have to act surprised and sometimes have to counteract what I know is in Hydra's best interest in order to maintain my secret identity. For the most part I've been able to keep my emotions intact, even though for the first time in my life I am starting to feel like I've found a family. It's hard knowing that one day I will betray them all, but it's part of the job and caring for these people like I do is a weakness that I need to overcome. I try to tell myself that I'm playing them, I don't really care. And for the most part it is true, until I hear that Fitz and Skye have entered Quinn's compound. This wasn't supposed to be a combat mission. They aren't ready to face down thugs holding real weapons instead of _night night_ guns. Fitz is outside the mansion, bullets flying when I shoot past him and take out one of the bad guys. One of the guys who is really working with me, but doesn't even know it. I'm not even sure if I am all that loyal to Hydra, or its ideals, but I am loyal to John Garrett. I will follow him anywhere. He saved me when no one else did and I owe him everything. Skye is inside and my heart pounds nervously as I dispatch several of Quinn's guys and upon hearing Coulson's strangled cry for Simmons I know instantly that something is wrong. Hurrying down the stairs I see the worst thing I could ever imagine. Coulson is holding Skye and it is obvious that she is dying. Dark viscous blood stains her shirt and covers her lips and chin as she bleeds out before us. She's dead. Not breathing. My heart stops at the thought of it as Simmons tells us to put Skye in the hyperbaric chamber. We do and as Fitz presses at the controls she suddenly takes a breath. Alive! Still breathing. My heart skips a beat and I will do anything to save her.

***

We're on the plane, Skye barely alive as Simmons gives the grim news that if we don't get her to a medical facility she may sustain permanent brain damage. If she makes it at all. I'm angry now. At Coulson, for letting her believe she should go into Quinn's compound alone. At Skye, for always being so stubborn and headstrong that she thinks she can just jump straight into any situation without any consequences. At Quinn, for actually pulling the trigger. Some day he will pay for this. At Garrett, for giving the order. I still don't know why he did it. Why would he allow Quinn to attack this young, insignificant girl? It's a conversation we will be having at some point when I get a chance to see him again. Finally, at myself for not teaching her how to protect herself more. I am so angry that I storm out to the loading ramp, slamming my hands into the S.H.I.E.L.D van parked there. I should have been able to protect her.

"It's not your fault," May says to me, pressing a hand gently into mine. 

Glancing her way I see compassion in her eyes as I say, "She never should have gone in there alone."

"Blaming yourself won't help her," May says. 

"I'm not blaming myself," I reply.

***

The doctors in Zurich have done everything they can but she is still dying. She will die and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

"We're her family," Coulson says to the doctor and I know it is true. Everything about Skye makes me want to be a better person. Makes me wish that things could be different. The entire team is devastated. Our family is broken. Why can't I shut off these feelings? The ones for Skye especially. 

May storms out of the trauma center and Coulson and I hurry after her. When we find her she is beating Quinn's face into a bloody pulp. When we drag her away from him anger is clearly evident on her face as she says, "He deserves to die! Not her!" 

I would kill him myself if I didn't have my original orders. I need to get my head on straight but I can't stop thinking about Skye and what my life will be like when she's gone. It's a weakness.

She's a weakness. 

The End


End file.
